The time has come to dive headfirst into the most important relationship we will ever have. The one with ourselves. It’s a lifetime commitment that requires your constant devotion. It’s not easy, but as it’s difficult to divorce yourself, it’s not one you can run away from either.
Trust me, I have tried running away from it. For years. You see, I didn’t really like myself very much.
I thought I was conceited, spoiled, ignorant, ugly, fat, lazy, unmotivated, uncommitted and selfish (just to name a few). Some of these things came from my own head and some things came from other people, but I took them on board anyway. By believing these things about myself, I encouraged them to be my reality. I didn’t realise it was within my power to become the person I wanted to be. I thought it was a case of personality lottery that was handed out at birth. Most importantly, I didn’t realise that my relationship with myself was being projected out into the world and therefore being reflected back to me in my work, relationships, health and opinions.
I have come to realise I found every possible way to avoid cultivating a healthy, loving relationship with myself. I would eat. I would travel. I watched more TV. I would move house. Change jobs. Change relationships. Anything to distract me from me. Throughout this time, I grew more frustrated. I started blaming things, circumstances and people for my unhappiness.
Finally I sat up and listened to the call to embark upon the spiritual path and discovered to my dismay that there was no magic pill to fix it all. Everywhere I looked and in everything I read there was a common thread. Go inwards.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
The truth is, I was afraid to go inwards, afraid of what I would find there, waiting. But soon I discovered that the further in you go, the less space there is for the crap. You start to see the bigger picture, you realise there is so much more than what is on the surface. You become empowered and start to take charge of your own life. The time had come to stop relying on others to give me what I wanted, because what I really wanted was something no other could ever give me. As I nurtured my relationship with myself my life began to change.
This quote by Kim McMillan sums up my journey perfectly:
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”
So, the question now is – where do I start? What do I do?
The first step is awareness. You need to understand where you are at right now. How do you talk to yourself? How do you treat your body? What do you do to support or to sabotage yourself?
Next… it’s time to start showing yourself some loving respect.
Even if you can’t bring yourself to look into the mirror and say I love and accept you, you beautiful sexy goddess, at least begin by shifting your focus. Instead of criticising your body, thank it for supporting you through all these years despite your lack of care towards it.
Affirmations are a great way to start undoing all those years of putting yourself down and they need not only be used for body image. You can also use affirmations to help build your self worth and value. You can change the way you see things. Rather than being jealous of others, see them as inspiration. Just that shift in thinking can take you from a place of lack and envy to a place of anticipation and motivation.
My most beloved suggestion of all: Meditate, meditate, meditate. The only way to tune in to your own beautiful wisdom is to get still. Sit and be still. Listen. Eventually answers will appear.
To help you get started with these, I will place you in the loving hands of those who do it best:
The expert on all things affirmations, Louise Hay – www.louisehay.com
This 2½ min meditation by Deepak Chopra – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRQHl3fJqBs
Walking her talk, Clare Baker – www.thisislifeblood.com
‘Light is the New Black’ Rebecca Campbell – guiding you home to yourself www.rebeccacampbell.me
Enjoy getting to know yourself !