It has been some time since I have written on here and I figured it was about time we caught up. There are several reasons for my absence. Firstly, I was at a loss of what to write about. After getting off to a running start, the doubt began creeping in. I started convincing myself that because I am no expert on anything, I cannot write about anything. Then I decided that if it wasn’t going to bring me joy in that moment, I shouldn’t do it. Wrong. Writing is something that brings me great joy – this was just my mind’s tricksy way of justifying my procrastination. I started dating again after taking some time out for myself and as usual (and something I seriously need to work on) as soon as a man entered my life, I picked up my very bad habit of dropping everything I’m doing, so I’m always available in case they are free to see me. Why do I keep doing this?? I’ve never met a man who gives up their hobbies and lifestyle to suit my schedule and it’s certainly not a trait I would want in a partner.
Either way you look at it, I had writers block which involved every excuse in the book (pun intended) not to punch out a post.
So…what exactly have I been up to the last few months? (Other than sitting around waiting for guys to text me?) Well…let me fill you in on a couple of the main players.
I started a diploma in specialist make up – and then quit. This week to be precise. The course appealed to me from the creative side. I’m not a makeup obsessed person and struggle with a winged eye more than most, however this course involved special effects make up and that sounded like a whole lot of fun. But just as we break up for the summer and before we even start on the special effects, I quit.
I’ve been quite harsh on myself over the years about my ‘quitting’ habit. I start so many things, buy so many courses and books, make great plans and have grand schemes. However, more often than not, they amount to nothing. And I’m – finally – okay with this. Why? Because I don’t ever see anything as a waste of time or money. Okay, so I might not have a heap of fancy qualifications on my wall, but how can any skill or piece of knowledge you learn ever be a waste? Every time I start something then decide, this isn’t for me, it helps me move further towards what is for me. I love to experiment, sample, try and test. I am curious and eager to learn and grow and develop. This doesn’t mean, however, that I have to see everything through to the end no matter what.
I had the realisation (better late than never, right?) that I am an adult and as such, I don’t have to justify what I do with my life to others and at the end of the day, I’m the only one responsible for my own life and my own happiness and that is most definitely not achieved by pleasing everyone else but yourself. So, I have embraced my higgledy piggledy approach to life because, well, it works for me.
One thing I have managed to stick to – even surprising myself, is my decision back in April to become a vegetarian. Originally, I decided to be a vegan, but after one shop at the supermarket I realised what an epic overhaul of my life this would be and decided to start small then build from there. I wasn’t sure how I would go with being vego – having grown up on the land and coming from a family where meat is the cornerstone of every meal and vegetarians and vegans are those ‘weird hippie tree hugging do gooders’ that come from the city and don’t understand the real world. I have to admit; it took a few months to build up the courage to tell my parents and ended up doing it over text message. They have been surprisingly accepting, (if somewhat confused) as have all the people in my life. And I have found not eating meat to be surprisingly easy for me as well. In fact, I don’t miss it or crave it at all and feel much better for it. Please note that I’m not preaching my ways or judging you. If you eat meat, good for you. I don’t. We can still be friends.
I think the way I managed to stick to this resolution was a combination of three things. Firstly, I find it quite easy to fit into my life. Secondly, it makes me feel better and thirdly, my approach was gentle. To start with, I took it one meal at a time. Then one day at a time. I said to myself, in this moment, I choose to not eat meat. I put zero pressure on myself so that if tomorrow I decided I wanted to eat meat, I could. This helped me avoid obsessing about the one thing you can’t have – like chocolate on day one of the slim down for summer diet. Soon enough, months started passing by and now it is just a part of my life. Look at me, being all committed and seeing something through!
I’ve also tried floating. Why? Well, my friend Becca, (you can find her over here) tried it and raved about it. So, naturally I just had to give it a go. My verdict? Undecided. Essentially it works like this. You go in and take a shower (because…hygiene) then jump into a capsule like tank that has about 30cm’s of water and over 300kg’s (don’t quote me) of salt – so you can’t help but float. You shut the lid, turn the light off and do nothing but float for an hour in complete darkness and silence. Sounds like a claustrophobic’s dream! (Actually, it’s not that bad at all) If you don’t like being alone with your thoughts – I’d try taking a meditation class first. This is a long time to do nothing. However, if you want time out, you want the health benefits, you want skin that feels heavenly afterwards and you enjoy the company of your own mind, then go for it. I went to Astral Float Canberra and they were absolutely lovely.
Right now I find myself staring December in the face and all that comes with the hectic Christmas rush and the New Year celebrations. I can hardly believe how quickly the year has flown by. It’s a good reminder for us all to slow down, enjoy the moment and breathe deeply.